Fear of failure: how to turn it into an ally?

What Do the Greatest French Footballer and a Nervous Teen Have in Common Before a Big Moment?

They both share a common enemy: the fear of failure. It’s that unsettling emotion we often try to dodge, dismiss, or pretend doesn’t exist. Admit it—you’ve probably said “I’m not scared!” at least once in your life.

Fear is often seen as the outcast of emotions. We mistakenly believe that feeling fear makes us weak, inferior, or controlled by life. But thinking like this is as irrational as believing in Santa Claus at 45. The reason we try so hard to hide our fears is simple: everyone feels fear. We all experience it to varying degrees, from slight anxiety before starting a new project to full-blown phobia of failure.

Embracing Fear as a Universal Experience

Fear has the power to unite us, as we’ve all felt it at some point. It’s also intricately tied to success. Through this article, you’ll start taming your fear of failure. And if you’re ready to dig deeper, discover EMPOWERED—an online course designed to dismantle limiting beliefs and banish the fears that hold you back.

In the meantime, here are three unconventional approaches to turn your fear of failure into an ally.

1. Put Fear in Its Place

Fear is a primitive emotion that kicks in, sometimes without a “valid” reason. Remember being terrified of a tiny, harmless spider or getting chills from a rustling tree? Peter Hollins explains in his book Neuro-Discipline that our brains process perceived danger in mere fractions of a second—a survival instinct from when humans had to react quickly to avoid predators. However, in today’s world, we no longer face such threats, yet these primitive reflexes persist, often taking priority over rational thought.

Knowing this, you can distance yourself from your fear of failure. Even if you feel it, you understand it’s based on an outdated survival instinct, making it far less credible.

2. See Failure as an Opportunity

Now that you know where your fear comes from and why it’s hard to control, it’s time to face failure head-on. Failure is a part of life—accept it. Shift your mindset like Jean Mermoz, who believed that “Well-endured failures grant the right to succeed.”

Reasons to Embrace Failure:

• Boost Self-Confidence and Strength: Every attempt is a small victory. The real failure is not trying because of fear. By staying stagnant, you erode your self-confidence. But when you take action, you:
  • Learn more about yourself and gain new skills.
  • Realize you can handle setbacks.
  • Become less fearful of taking on new challenges.
  • Achieve the goals that matter to you.

Overcoming the fear of failure is like learning to ride a bike. You’ll fall often, but each fall teaches you to get back up faster and move forward.

• Fuel Creativity: Failure is frustrating but also highly stimulating. It forces you to question yourself, seek solutions, and invent new ways to succeed. Instead of avoiding obstacles, turn them into opportunities!

3. Fear of Failure: Both an Ally and an Enemy

Overcoming Fear to Avoid Regret

Do you know Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg? A violin prodigy at just 10, she faced crippling fear of failure that nearly derailed her career. It wasn’t until her teacher threatened to stop her lessons that she confronted her fears and turned her life around. Sometimes, the solution is to overcome one fear by listening to another.

If you want to explore more counterintuitive approaches that can transform your daily life, discover EMPOWERED—a program that can revolutionize your life in just 20 minutes a day!