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Managing Anger: 6 Effective Strategies for Better Emotional Control
Self Development

Managing Anger: 6 Effective Strategies for Better Emotional Control

September 3, 2024
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Do you rarely spend more than an hour in your car without ending up insulting another driver? Do you struggle to keep your voice down when you disagree with someone? Have you even smashed your phone during a heated argument?

We're not here to judge. After all, we all get angry sometimes, but some people manage to hide it. Yet, expressing anger can sometimes be healthy and beneficial.

Let's be honest: we've all felt lighter after letting off a little steam.

Understanding Anger

Anger itself isn't the problem. What can become problematic is:

  • A total lack of control over emotions like aggression or rage
  • Inability to calm down, even hours after getting angry
  • When your anger is constant or too intense, and you don't understand where it's coming from

While we can't promise that after reading this article, you'll remain calm in the face of road rage, we can offer effective and concrete solutions to:

  • Soothe your anger if you feel it rising uncontrollably
  • Stop ruminating for hours or sulking like a child
  • Successfully control your anger in daily life

The Bigger Picture

Anger can also be a piece of a puzzle that you're struggling to put together. In life, everything is connected: your well-being at work, your emotional management, your relationships... That's why we created EMPOWERED, a comprehensive program combining personal development and business.

In the meantime, here are the best tips from Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" on how to manage your anger.

Controlling Anger in the Moment

1. Walk Away When Angry

Emotions have a habit of showing up uninvited. The first thing to do is to act immediately on the problem.

If smoke starts coming out of your nostrils, take a break. Nothing beats physically distancing yourself from what's making you angry to gain emotional AND physical perspective. It's the most effective way to avoid unnecessary crises.

2. Move Your Body to Manage Anger

Anger creates an adrenaline rush, feelings of heat, and nervous reactions. The body is tense and cramped, but it also has an energy spike.

Instead of channeling this energy into verbal or physical violence, use it to do something good for your body. A simple walk in the city can already help channel your anger. Even better is a long walk or run in nature, as it:

  • Calms the mind
  • Offers a moment alone
  • Allows you to gain perspective

3. Put Yourself in the Other Person's Shoes

Understanding others helps manage frustration. When you think, "I'm angry, I want to break everything," try to put yourself in the shoes of the person who's annoying you.

Long-term Strategies for Managing Inner Anger

4. Understand the Source of Anger to Defuse It

Mastering your emotions is a highly sought-after soft skill in the professional world. But for them to become your allies, you first need to understand your emotions.

In theory, it's very simple: identify where your anger comes from. In practice, it's much more unclear!

So, as soon as you feel anger rising, try to pause and ask yourself:

  • What element pulled the pin on the bomb? From what phrase or gesture did it all start? At what exact moment?
  • What fear and what need are hiding behind my anger?
  • Can I create a link between this trigger and past experiences?
  • Can my childhood explain such management of anger and aggression? Did I receive a violent education or grow up with an angry parental model?

5. Challenge Your Thoughts to Learn to Manage Anger

Anger works in stages. One unpleasant thought leads to another, then another, and another, etc. It's the snowball effect - or rather the forest fire during a heatwave. And it's this emotional crescendo that makes anger so difficult to manage.

Once you've identified the "triggering" thought, push back against all those that go in its direction.

6. Use Expressive Writing to Channel Anger

If you'd like to block this cascade of dark thoughts, but you know your anger is too uncontrollable for that, there's another solution: expressive writing, discovered by Redford Williams.

Whenever you start to feel anger, fear, or frustration, write down your thoughts.

Turning Anger into Strength: The Beginning of a New Life?

What if anger management was the first step to changing your life?

That's what we offer in Empowered, a hybrid training capable of profoundly transforming your personal and professional life!

Through more than 40 practical exercises, you'll be able to:

  • Develop a fresh perspective on what's bothering you
  • Say goodbye to anger for good and better manage your emotions
  • Build self-confidence
  • Explore your past to heal old wounds

This program is an opportunity to give your daily life a new face.

CEO of Paradox, coach to top performers and advisor to top executives. In France and abroad, David's clients include Olympic champions, serial entrepreneurs, film actors, singers and CNRS doctor-researchers.

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